


Hold On To the Ghost of My Body

by hannah_baker



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Multi, Poly Relationship, relationship navigation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 16:52:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15319941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannah_baker/pseuds/hannah_baker
Summary: Nothing makes Dylan Strome happier than waking up in Connor McDavid's bed. Waking up to phone calls from Connor's boyfriend Leon really puts a wrench in his spokes, however.





	Hold On To the Ghost of My Body

**Author's Note:**

> This story is deeply rooted in how badly I want Dylan Strome to have nice things, goddamnit. Which is basically the frequency I operate on, to be perfectly honest. 
> 
> Dylan and Connor are together forever, but both Dylan and Connor have boyfriends on their team in this story. Just so you're fully aware. 
> 
> Also, I've never been in a poly relationship, just. so. you. all. know. 
> 
> Title from Sober to Death by Car Seat Headrest
> 
> Oh, and I decided for the ease of my own logistical writing brain that Dylan and Nick made the show for real, so you know. Handwave, handwave. Writing hockey can be so tedious.

Dylan Strome woke up in his favorite place in the whole world: Connor McDavid’s bed. 

 

He woke up to his least favorite sound though. The German rap ringtone that only blared when Connor’s boyfriend was calling him. Dylan groaned, pressed closer to Connor so his chest was flush with Connor’s back. The song ended. The call went to voicemail. Connor stayed asleep. 

 

Dylan took a breath, his senses filling with his boy. They only got to see each other a handful of times during the season, and he wasn’t missing a single moment to breathe in the scent of Connor’s skin, the cheap soap he used, the same laundry detergent his billet mom used when he was a teenager. 

 

He groaned when Connor’s phone started to ring again. This time, he grabbed it, seeing Leon Draisaitl’s name and a photo of him and Connor together. It was the very last thing he wanted waking him up in the morning. He slid the screen to answer the call. 

 

“Connor’s phone, Dylan speaking,” he answered, voice maybe a little smug. Leon got Connor to himself most of the season. Dylan just wanted to assert who was top dog here. 

 

“Hi Dylan,” Leon said, already sounding on-guard and awkward. Dylan was glad to be able to put him off a bit. “Is Connor there?” 

 

“He’s still sleeping.” 

 

“Could you...maybe wake him up?” Listen. Dylan didn’t want to hate Leon. He just couldn’t help it. It was inevitable. 

 

“Sure thing, bud,” he said. He held the phone close enough so that Leon could hear, and nuzzled into the back of Connor’s neck. 

 

“Morning, baby,” he said, pressing loud kisses to the bare skin of Connor’s shoulders. Connor stirred, hand coming up to rub at his eyes. 

 

“What time is it,” he complained, pressing back, trying to get as close to Dylan as possible. 

 

“Six forty-five. There’s someone on the phone for you, sweetheart.” 

 

Connor took the phone from him, his cheeks burning a little when he realized it was Leon. 

 

“Hey,” he said quietly into the phone. Dylan was still curled around his back, and Connor didn’t move an inch, just stayed pressed close to Dylan. 

 

“Hey angel,” Dylan heard Leon say over the phone. Barf. “Did you want to get breakfast?” 

 

Dylan felt his blood if not boil, then maybe simmer. Connor was in Arizona for one night, and Leon thought that meant that Connor would want to get breakfast with  _ him? _

 

“I’m going to get breakfast with Dyl,” Connor said. Dylan wrapped his arms around Connor tighter, pressed more kisses to the back of his neck. As loud as possible.

 

“Is he seriously kissing you while I’m trying to talk to you?” Leon asked, his voice, even over the phone, so unwelcome to Dylan's ears as to be offensive. 

 

“You did call me when you knew where I would be, on one of two nights we’re in Arizona this season,” Connor said, and Dylan could have cried he was so happy with that answer. 

 

Leon sounded admonished at least when he responded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll let you go,” he said. Then he paused. “I love you.” It was like Leon knew Dylan could hear him. 

 

“You too,” Connor said, pressing the end call button to magically remove Leon from their bed with them. Dylan was in Connor’s hotel room since Connor had a hotel curfew. Dylan was fine with that. Mostly. Except it meant that somewhere in the same building they were in, Leon lurked. 

 

Connor flipped around in Dylan’s arms so he could face him, and the previous three minutes of his life evaporated. Connor was Dylan’s forever boy, the love of his life, his other half. Connor’s sweet sleepy face in the morning was all Dylan ever wanted to wake up to. His blonde hair was messy, and he had creases on his face from his pillow. His breath was morning sour, but Dylan didn’t care. He only got Connor’s morning breath a few times a season. He was going to enjoy it. 

 

Dylan was naked from the night before but Connor liked to sleep in underwear, so as they kissed good morning, Dylan’s hands ran over Connor’s back and over his boxer briefs to his butt. Connor had serious hockey butt, and Dylan would never, never be over it. Connor pressed Dylan onto his back and slid a leg between Dylan’s thighs. Dylan could feel Connor slowly getting hard against his leg. The only sound Dylan could hear was the hotel air conditioner which had just clicked on, and it made Dylan feel like they were in a little cocoon for two. 

 

Dylan wished with all his might that he wouldn’t have thought about Leon again in that moment. But his stupid smug German face popped into his mind again, and he couldn’t shake it. Connor’s lips slipped from Dylan’s down to his neck, and Dylan wished to God that he could keep his mouth shut. Instead, he blurted out, “are you thinking about Leon?” 

 

Connor sighed, pulled away from him. “Jesus Christ, Dyl.” He flopped on his back, tossed an arm over his eyes. “Are you fucking serious right now?” 

 

“Well are you?” Dylan asked. Their situation was...interesting. After a frustrating and unfulfilling first year playing on different teams, they had eventually come to the idea of an open relationship. Really, they were poly. Connor and Dylan both had local boyfriends. Nick Merkley’s bed was where Dylan would have been the night before if they had played anyone other than the Oilers. It wasn’t like Connor had a hot German boyfriend and Dylan had his left hand. Still, Dylan harbored some insecurities. 

 

Connor dropped the arm over his eyes to look at Dylan. “I was thinking about how gorgeous your fucking body is, and how nice it is to wake up next to the love of my life, but now that you bring him up, I guess I am.” His voice was exasperated and bitter. Dylan got it. He didn’t want to spend their limited time together fighting either. He wanted to just be able to enjoy their time together. “Are you thinking about Nick?” 

 

“No,” Dylan said, put in his place. 

 

“But you were texting him last night before bed,” Connor pointed out. Dylan couldn’t deny that. “And I wasn’t a bitch about it.” 

 

“You’re right. You weren’t,” Dylan said. “I’m sorry I was texting him.” 

 

“It’s fine,” Connor said. “It’s not like he doesn’t exist when we’re together. You text me when you’re with him all the time.” 

 

Dylan smiled. “Yeah, I do,” he agreed. Nick wasn’t in love with Dylan, which helped. They weren’t super romantic or precious about their relationship. It was just friendship and comfort and good sex. 

 

“And I text you,” Connor said, leaving out the ‘when I’m with Leon.’ Dylan understood, appreciated Connor not saying his name again. He knew Leon was in love with Connor. He hated it. But he wasn’t going to make Connor choose. Either Connor would choose Dylan and be miserable in Edmonton, or he’d choose Leon, and leave Dylan with a shattered heart. He didn’t want either. 

 

Connor cupped Dylan’s cheek in his palm. “I love you so much my heart could literally burst,” he said. Dylan covered Connor’s hand with his own, turned to kiss his palm. 

 

“You know I feel the same,” Dylan said, and mercifully, Connor kissed him. They got back into the rhythm of their kissing, Connor creeping back up to straddle one of Dylan’s thighs. He was soft again, but Dylan slid a hand down the back of Connor’s underwear, and Dylan could feel both their bodies getting back on board with the situation. 

 

Dylan had learned what sex was with Connor. Connor hadn’t been his first kiss, but he was the first boy Dylan had ever done anything sexual with, and there was something intensely satisfying about a relationship that had so many years under its belt. Connor knew where Dylan liked to be bit, where he’d prefer to be licked. He knew he liked to be fingered but could pass on being fucked. They’d spent so many hours kissing each other that the first few times Dylan had kissed Nick, Nick’s lips felt like a strange and unfamiliar land Dylan had no map for. He wanted to always, always be kissing Connor McDavid. 

 

They ordered room service and took a shower together, standing under the hot water as Dylan let Connor kiss him long and deep. He wished he could download those kisses onto a flash drive, remember them in five days, in six weeks, in three months, when he’s starving for Connor. 

 

They ate breakfast in bed, and Dylan made them take a bunch of selfies because those were something he could look at when he missed Connor with the whole heaviness of his heart. 

 

Then Connor had to leave, had to get on a plane, and Dylan had a day off that he knew he was going to loathe. It was better when he had something to take up his time when he and Connor had to part ways again. 

 

The next time he would see Connor was in five weeks in Edmonton. It was December, but he just wanted it to be summer already, when he could see Connor whenever he wanted. All the time. Every day. 

 

They dragged out a goodbye at the hotel room door before Connor headed to the elevators to meet up with his team — and Leon — and Dylan turned the other way to catch the stairs, maybe leave out the back to avoid as many Oilers as possible. He just didn’t want to see Leon’s fucking bearded face. He didn't even want to see his brother. 

 

He got into his car in the ramp, and he just fucking ached down to the marrow of his bones. He plugged Merks’ address into his phone, and tried to turn his brain off as he made his way across town. 

 

When he got there, Nick buzzed him up, and Dylan spent the elevator up to Nick’s floor trying to chill out. Nick didn’t deserve to have to deal with the fallout from his relationship with Connor. Nick deserved him when his heart was focused on him. 

 

When Nick opened his door though, he knew something was wrong right away. “Oh, baby,” he said, pulling Dylan into a hug. Dylan was a giraffe compared to Nick, but Nick was strong and comforting. He kissed Dylan, just a small welcome home peck, and Dylan lost it, the tears he’d been holding in finally spilling over.

 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” Dylan said, wiping at the tears streaming down his face. Nick’s thumbs wiped them away, his hands warm and gentle on his cheeks. 

 

“Don’t be sorry. I know this is hard for you,” he said and pulled Dylan to the couch. Nick sat on the chaise bit of the sectional with his legs spread, and Dylan flipped on top of him, the bulk of his body between Nick’s legs, his head resting on Nick’s stomach. 

 

“I don’t deserve you,” Dylan said. He was thinking about Connor and how good Connor was. How Connor deserved for everyone to be in love with him. How he’s glad Leon is devoted to his boy, because he knows Connor is being well taken care of. But he had a hard time granting himself that kind of grace. Nick made an annoyed sound in his throat,  _ it’s fucking stupid to think that _ sound, but didn’t say anything. 

 

Instead, Nick combed through his hair, scratched his scalp. Dylan knew he was lucky to have this comfort when Connor was away. That Nick was so cool with Connor and Dylan’s intense relationship. Dylan knew he and Leon both burned with jealousy over each other and Connor absolutely knew how the two of them felt about each other. But Dylan never got that vibe off of Nick. He knew that Nick and Connor texted sometimes actually, to discuss birthday present ideas and stuff. They were one hundred percent civil. 

 

“I wish Leon and I could be cool the way you and Connor are cool.” Dylan said into Nick’s tummy. 

 

“Connor and I respect each other,” Nick said, and Dylan could feel him shrug. “I know what your relationship is. I know you two are forever. He’s your boy.”

 

“You’re my boy too.”

 

“Yeah, babe. Of course I am. But the NHL aside, you and Connor would be married in a heartbeat.” 

 

Dylan could only nod. 

 

“And I would be fine with that.”

 

“But Leon also wants to marry Connor.” 

 

“Yeah. I get that impression too.” Nick paused. “The way I feel about you isn’t jealous. You’re my best friend. I just want to be with you. I just love you.” It was the first time he’d heard Nick say he loved him. Dylan had always thought that he only cared that Connor loved him, but hearing it from Nick felt special and electric too. “You don’t have to say it back,” Nick said, filling up the pause that Dylan gave him. 

 

Dylan pushed himself up on his forearms so he could actually look Nick in the face. “I love you, too,” he said, and he meant it. Having two boyfriends didn’t come super easy to Dylan, the way it seemed to come easily to Connor, but while Nick would never be Connor, he was  _ Nick.  _ And that was pretty special too. 

 

Nick dragged him into his bedroom and they stripped each other’s clothes off, Nick’s chill, easy smile everpresent, and so beautiful. Nick as a lazy cat on a hot day where Connor was a tightly wound spring, and there was an argument for both. 

 

Dylan found condoms (condoms  _ always _ ) and Nick told him about his own day so far as Dylan prepped him. When Dylan had sex with Connor, it was overwhelming. There were stakes, and heartache, and a ticking clock, and no one ever mentioned what they picked up at the grocery store earlier if they were hungry later, but Nick let Dylan know there were uncrustables in the freezer for him if he wanted them, and fuck, Dylan loved those stupid little sandwiches and the boy who bought them for him.

 

\--

 

Leon held Connor’s hand tight on the flight home. The moment he appeared in the hotel lobby, Leon’s arm was around his shoulder, just buddies enough to not alert any potential hockey fans that they were together, but certainly more liberal with his affection than he would have been somewhere in an actual hockey market. 

 

Normally, Connor loved when Leon made any overtures of affection. He and Leon were solid. One of the reasons Connor knew that Dylan would never do anything to actually fuck him and Leon up was because Dylan liked how well Leon took care of him. Said he worried less after a rough loss or a hard hit knowing that Leon was there, which is something Connor loved so deeply about Dylan. That he could put aside his negative Leon feelings, knowing what a difference Leon made in Connor’s happiness. 

 

But what he didn’t love was the raging jealousy between the two of them. The underlying sense of competition. Because Connor knew that Leon was fine with the fact that Connor was poly, but he also knew he’d prefer if Dylan Strome poofed into thin air. And the arm around his shoulder and the hand holding on the plane reeked of jealousy. 

 

“Why did you call me this morning?” Connor asked him, voice low. The engines of the plane and the card game the boys were playing a few seats ahead of them giving them at least a little privacy to talk. Everyone knew he and Leon were together, but it’s not like he wanted his team to see him argue with his boyfriend. 

 

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to get breakfast,” Leon said, though he couldn’t meet his eyes. 

 

“No, you didn't. You wanted to annoy Dylan,” Connor said. It wasn’t even an accusation. It was just the truth. “We eat a thousand more meals together than Dylan and I get to, and you know that. You know how special the time I get with Dylan is to me.” 

 

“I just…” Leon started, but the thought didn’t really go anywhere. He couldn’t say he was jealous out loud, because he knew Connor was already pissed about it. 

  
“You just made Dylan pick a fight with me this morning, is what you did,” Connor said. He was using his disappointed tone, which if he’d learned anything from his parents, was very effective. 

 

“I just missed you,” Leon said, his eyes soft. A lot of Leon was posturing and sly looks. Alpha dog bullshit. Especially in public. Sometimes it could be hard to get emotion out of him. He was more guarded than Dylan. This was a little raw though, and Connor felt his heart go soft. He squeezed Leon’s hand. 

 

“I know it’s hard to share,” Connor said, his mind on Dylan, and where Dyan was now - with Nick, almost undoubtedly - “but thank you for being honest with me.” 

 

“I just want you all the time,” Leon said, slouching in his airplane seat to rest his head on Connor’s shoulder, nuzzle into his cheek. Connor never knew what to say to that. 

 

“I know, baby,” was all Connor could think to say. As frustrated as he’d been with Dyan that morning when he’d asked if he was thinking about Leon when they were together, his mind couldn’t move away from Dylan now, in a plane filled with his teammates, Leon’s fingers tangled in his own. He was already thinking about the way Leon’s fingers would feel in him when they were finally back in Edmonton, back home, in Leon’s bed. 

 

They landed, and Connor turned his phone back on, a slew of messages missed during the hours in the air. He only opened the thread from Dylan though, six messages waiting for him. 

 

_ It was so good to see you _

_ I’m sorry I picked a fight _

_ Counting down the days until Edmonton _

_ I love you _

_ I love you _

_ I love you _

 

He paused before heading out down the aisle to exit the plane to send one message back. 

 

_ I love you too. _

 

Then he followed Leon off the plane. 

**Author's Note:**

> thewestishharpooners on tumblr, when I'm there. please bring me your McStrome feelings.


End file.
